It is all a part of the plan

Sometimes, in the early morning or the evening when the house is still, I think about how God has a plan and DP is a part of that plan. I remember how I thought everything was perfect: a successful business, a long-standing marriage, and all the material things I thought I ever needed. Then the bottom fell out. The marriage ended, the business ended, and Mom, my role model, passed away.  I was an emotional dishrag; I felt I just could not take on one more thing. I went to work, came home, and hid out in my bedroom. I couldn't cope anymore. Then came DP.

At first the idea was beyond comprehension. Nope, can't do it; sorry. I prayed and cried and prayed some more. If not me, who? Nope, sorry, can't do it. More prayer, more tears, more prayer. Everyone had different advice about what I should do. But in the end, it was all up to me. I knew the decision I'd been wrestling with had been there all along. Yes.

The  little guy has plenty of antics, and yes sometimes he does push my patience to the limit, but I wouldn't change a thing. He gets lonely, because it is just the two of us. He entertains himself talking to Zoe (the dog) or Serene (the cat) and he sings all of the time WAY off key, but it works for him so it's okay with me. Other times he is in the family room playing out a Star Wars battle scene as only a child with limitless energy and imagination can do.

I don't always say the right thing or think before I speak and sometimes I am far too irritable. I regret those times and apologize; DP is a forgiving and trusting child, so I trust he understands. (Sometimes I see an old man's soul in that little boy's body.) Friends ask how things are going with DP and me; I play it off and grumble but those who really know me see beyond the facade. You know what? Nothing compares to those moments when he comes into my office while I'm working, puts his arm around my neck, kisses my forehead, and says "I love you, Nana" or "I really need a hug." At those times I know he means it, I feel it, and I know it truly is all a part of God's plan.