He makes me so proud

Today, after we were sure all homework was done, he joined several friends and went biking through the neighborhood. He came home just before dark--without being told. He and all his friends carry cell phones. That's a good thing. I overheard him calling one of the friends to be sure they got home safely. I didn't mean to eavesdrop (take that back---yes I did!). Anyway, he said "I just wanted to be sure you got home okay." As it turns out, two of his friends (both girls) must cross a busy highway to get home; he was checking on their safety. Awwwww. See, now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!!

I am tired!

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. Laundry is piling up, lawn needs mowing, it's getting near time to close down the yard and get ready for winter, and if I have to wash one more load of dishes...

Every night news about the economy keeps getting worse and worse and job prospects aren't well at all.

Enough griping. Time for me to get a grip and go to bed. Way past my bedtime...DP is snoring and Zoe is passed out on the floor next to me. The faithful dog.

TTYL

Receiving and giving support

DP has just one more session with his therapist. Next month he graduates. He has come a long way--emotionally and physically. We worked through quite a few emotional issues and are continuing our growth, mostly just learning how to adjust to each other.

From last year to this year, DP went from 4'6" to 5'2". I'm 5'4" that kinda tells me something! Over the next few months, any disciplinary "discussions" will have to be done with him sitting down, so I'll be the taller person. This makes it an even bigger challenge accepting the fact that what worked once, does not work now for this generation.

On October 1, I will be on a panel on relative care givers. (That ought to be interesting.) The panel is the result of a discussion I had with the Spokesman-Recorder before  writing the column about "grandfamilies." I hope that whatever my small contributions might be, they will help or support other relative caregivers. There are a lot of us out there; we definitely need each other. 

Growth spurt

DP is growing out of all his clothes. A major growth spurt! We bought jeans that last year were a bit large, but this year fit perfectly. The shirts that fit last year are way up the wrist this year! Okay, here's the thing: When I was raising girls, they grew just a bit slower (if memory serves), but this man-child is beyond belief. At least over the summer he could wear shorts and no one knew the difference, but with cooler weather setting in we are looking at a whole new ball game.

Grampa Dave sent him a new watch and the child slept with it. I had to remind him to take it off before cleaning up this morning. He was so surprised when it arrived and  was on his cell phone texting everyone with the news. This morning he kept looking at it to be sure to leave the house on time. Never mind we have clocks in every room of the house!

I was, at first concerned Grampa may have gone a bit overboard with the bling, but he assured me hadn't. As Grampa Dave said: "Kids don't need expensive stuff, just stuff that works." Yep, we have definitely been there!

DP is around women most of the time, so I enrolled him in Big Brothers Big Sisters and encourage him to keep in contact with his big brother, which he does as often as possible (thank goodness for texting). And it is really good to see him developing a relationship with his grandfather, another male role model in his life.  

Thank you, Grampa Dave, for the watch...and the reminder!

DP the sixth grader

He's off to school this morning and is absolutely beaming to be a sixth grader now. Most of yesterday afternoon was spent finding, washing, and ironing clothes and getting everything ready for the big day. We decided that this year he would carry a messenger bag instead of the usual backpack. Trying something a little different.

When I peeked into his room this morning at 7:30, he was wide awake, just lying there waiting for me to kick off the occasion with the usual wake up call. I've been awake a long time, Nana. Just waiting for you. Three or four times after he showered, dressed, and had breakfast he asked if it was time to leave yet. (He definitely needs another watch.) I took a picture of him and sent it to his mom so she could be a part of the special day.

The bus stops right outside the house, so I had a cup of coffee and watched through the kitchen window until he rode away. Before leaving the house he hugged and kissed me and reminded me that when he came to live here, he was in the second grade. The image of him standing in the doorway with his social worker and bag of belongings will always be a part of me. He hugged me then, too. We were embarking on an adventure.

"We did it, Nana!" Yep, kiddo, we did.

Supporting our grand-family

DP and I attended our first Grandparent/grandchild support group yesterday evening. We had dinner then split up into adult and child groups.

Sitting in a room with other grandparents who were sharing their lives with their grandkids was uplifting. Hearing their stories about how they were and continue to be making a new life for all concerned was inspirational. It helped me to know just how far DP and I have come as a unit. When you are in the middle of it, just focused on putting one foot ahead of the other 24/7 you don't often take time to stop and look around or look back to see how far you've come. Last night helped me to do that. I could see the strides Virginia has made as DP's mother and how we are supporting each other's efforts to raise DP.

It was painful listening to the challenges other grandfamilies are working through, then remembering the changes my little unit had to go through in order to get to where we are now. God has been with us through it all; I can see that now more than ever before.

This was a good day.

We went to the State Fair today with Virginia and Diana. Because of my bad ankle, Virginia rented a scooter for me. It was so sweet how DP insisted on walking next to me most of the time and even held my hand as we moved through the crowd. (Diana snapped a picture.)

The child stuffed back so much State Fair "fare" that by the end of the day (about 5 hours) he was ready to collapse. He even looked a little green around the gills. I was concerned he would get sick, but he made it.

Finally unpacked camp gear

We finally got around to unpacking his camping gear a couple of nights ago. There were damp jeans and shirts from swimming fully clothed (huh?) and about 60% of unpacked clothes including socks and underwear and bedding.
- So, what did you sleep on or under? (Shudder to guess.) The socks and underwear were mostly unpacked.  He said the mattress was clean, so he didn't need the sheets. (Huh?)
- So, did you shower?
- Yes. (The soap had been used, so I confirmed.)
- Every day?
- YES!
- Did you brush your hair and brush your teeth and use plenty of deoderant?
- Geez, Nana! Of course I did. (Toothpaste and deodorant looked squeezed and used, so I confirmed.) We were in the water most of the time, Nana, so...
- So, what does that mean? "So." You washed in the lake? You slept in wet clothes to avoid the shower? What?? What did you use for underwear?
- Don't worry, Nana, I was okay. Everything was okay! 

He went straight to the shower as soon as we got home.

 A camping we will go, a camping we will go. 
We're living lean, no need to clean.
A camping we will go.

I blinked---he changed

We working mothers often had that "feeling"---guilt, frustration, angst---that we would miss some developmental milestone in our child's life, because we had to work: their first step, or first time feeding themselves, or turning over in the crib, or crawling, or saying their first viable word. I missed some of those moments, because I was working. Well, it's happening again, this time while DP was at camp.

We have lived together for over 3 years and he had to go off to camp to have a voice change! As I said in an earlier post, I thought it was a cold, so I've been waiting for that "other" voice to come back. It hasn't. It won't. The deeper voice is here to stay.

What's different this time---what I call my "do over" is that this time, with this child, I am paying closer attention to changes and challenges. I am more aware.

He's back

DP is back home and talked non-stop for almost 2 hours about camp adventures. He was so excited to come home that in his haste to get dressed, the child put his t-shirt on backwards and wore pajama bottoms! I jumped out of the car and we hugged and kissed like we hadn't seen each other in years! When he opened his mouth to speak a deeper voice came out. I was so caught off guard I thought he had a cold. Nope, Nana, it's just me.

We really must thank his wonderful therapist and her organization for helping us secure a scholarship for him to have such a rich and rewarding camp experience. This was one of the few times DP had a chance to interact with boys his own age while learning about outdoor experience. The best part about the entire experience was getting to know boys with similar backgrounds, living with their grandparents, boys of different races and cultures, and helping DP to see that he was not alone or the "only one."  Sometimes I would feel so isolated. Hearing him say how much he appreciated the camping experience was the biggest reward of all. There were loads of pictures. He is still singing camp songs and will probably be singing them in his sleep.

There is a grandparents raising grandkids support group near by, I think it's time the two of us started reaching out more.

Message from the front

"Dear Nana,

So far, everything is okay. I learned how to swim properly."

I sent two postage-paid envelopes, as requested, and got an (albeit obligatory) post card. I am definitely NOT complaining, because he DID write and it looks like he is keeping busy.  He's probably saving the best and rest for when he comes home tomorrow???