Since starting my column and this blog, several people have asked me to define re-parenting. I stumbled on the technical term while reading articles about relatives raising other people's children. While I'm not sure if what follows is the best description, it seems to fit me and mine.
For me, re-parenting is all about opening your heart and your home and sharing your old soul with that new one about to enter your world. It ain't all good and it ain't all bad. It just is what it is: a chance for do-overs with a person who holds one-quarter of your ancestry. Re-parenting is seeing your child in this child, then seizing that rare opportunity to change some of the mis-steps you made the first time around: finding the patience, sparing the rod but not spoiling the child, taking time to talk to instead of at. Loving til it hurts ('cause it will hurt at some point, on some level, it will hurt). And finally, puttin' on your big girl panties, turning your back to the wind and doin' right by your kin. There you have it.
By the way, there is also "grandfamily," "kinship care," "care-giver." You work with whatever fits your life. "Re-parenting" fits mine.
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