Exactly what--or who--was harvested??

Last year I gave DP a small piece of the yard to plant his own garden. After the novelty wore off and he realized the work it took, the garden soon became a refuge for crusted ground and very happy weeds. So, this year I planted the garden: cucumbers, zucchinis, canteloupe, tomatoes,  watermelons, and green peppers. I was so proud of the efforts and was looking forward to showing DP how vegetables looked before they reached store shelves. All ready to sit down and eat the bounty of our harvest.

I eagerly went out to pick some of the crop, but the only beings more eager than I were the mosquitoes! Have you ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" where the birds attack in swarms against the townsfolk smashing into phone booths, slamming into cars, and gouging peoples' faces? Well, this was the Minnesota state bird (mosquito) in swarms in our garden! The only exposed part of my body was my face and those micro-carnevores went in for the kill! I was so busy swatting and sweating that I ended up running for the house with only a few veggies. 

The excessive heat and rainy season kept me from picking the veggies on time. What little bit I was able to gather looked deformed. The result? Bitter cukes, zucchinis on steroids, and one little watermelon on a mile-long vine. (Those whitish, gourd-looking things are cucumbers, the zucchini is on the right.) The tomatoes seem to be faring well enough, the canteloupes are questionable. The upside? What I saw as a complete failure, looked impressive to DP. I guess it's true, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. Never mind that the cukes are inedible and we will probably be eating zucchini bread for a year, since that's primarily what giant zucchinis are good for. 

Clearly, I am not a veggie gardener. I think I'll just stick to flowers and writing and leave the real veggie gardening to my niece, Audra!